So, I recently started talking to this amazing guy. Literally perfect. Everything I was looking for to a T. Looks, personality, everything. And he told me very kindly that after getting to know me more, he realized that I wasn't what he was looking for. At first I was hurt, very angry with him. But after getting over that anger, I started to look at it from his perspective. And I realized something, If I was a guy... I wouldn't date me. A 19 year old single parent, living with their parents, making very little money. I wouldn't date me. How am I suppose to expect my perfect man to? I realized that instead of looking for Mr. Perfect, I need to make myself someone that Mr. Perfect would want as well. I don't deserve the best, if I can't offer them the best. Obviously I'm never going to be perfect, but I need to be able to put out what I'm wanting. So, I'm going to start working on me. Trying to make myself someone that he would want. Someone that I would want.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you. So why do I love you?
Seriously, even now.
After all the horrible things you said. I still love you.
I never knew why I loved you to begin with.
You're not physically attractive.
I hate almost everything about your personality.
You had so many problems.
You weren't in a good place in your life.
You made me go through one of the hardest times in my life.
I hate you so much.
But I still find myself loving you.
Seriously, even now.
After all the horrible things you said. I still love you.
I never knew why I loved you to begin with.
You're not physically attractive.
I hate almost everything about your personality.
You had so many problems.
You weren't in a good place in your life.
You made me go through one of the hardest times in my life.
I hate you so much.
But I still find myself loving you.
Monday, January 3, 2011
10 things.
Name 10 things that no one knows about you.
Well, I doubt I could name 10 things that NO ONE knows.
But I'll do my best.
1. I'm ADDICTED to washing my hands.
I wash my hands AT LEAST 15 times a day.
2. I get anxiety when I'm trying to clean, I literally have to stop myself and just focus on one thing at a time.
3. I'm really self conscious about my body ever since I had my daughter. Nothing screws up your body more than having a kid.
4. I pride myself in being able to spell and type in proper English. And it drives me nuts when people spell wrong. Or use letters for words. "u & r or l8r." annoying things like that.
5. Ever since I can remember I've always been in love with music, and acting. I've always wanted to be an actress or singer.
6. I over think and over analyze everything. Especially things boys do.
7. I really want to move to another state, where i know no one. And no one knows me.
8. I go through stages where I hate my phone, and won't look at it for days at a time. Or even when it's near me, and I know I've got texts, I'll ignore them. Or read them, and never reply.
9. I go through similar stages with facebook, where I'll "deactivate" my account for days at a time. I'm in one of those stages now, which is why I'm resorting to many blog posts.
10. I'm super co-dependant. And go from guy, to guy, to guy. And I always move WAY to fast. And get attached WAY to easily. And I always end up getting hurt, but then just doing the same thing over and over again. I'm trying to work on that.
11. I have 2 phobias. 1. the garbage disposal. If something falls in, i will make someone else get it out. I refuse to put my hand in that death trap. 2. cheese graters. hopefully a psychotic killer doesn't stalk my blog...
Well, I doubt I could name 10 things that NO ONE knows.
But I'll do my best.
1. I'm ADDICTED to washing my hands.
I wash my hands AT LEAST 15 times a day.
2. I get anxiety when I'm trying to clean, I literally have to stop myself and just focus on one thing at a time.
3. I'm really self conscious about my body ever since I had my daughter. Nothing screws up your body more than having a kid.
4. I pride myself in being able to spell and type in proper English. And it drives me nuts when people spell wrong. Or use letters for words. "u & r or l8r." annoying things like that.
5. Ever since I can remember I've always been in love with music, and acting. I've always wanted to be an actress or singer.
6. I over think and over analyze everything. Especially things boys do.
7. I really want to move to another state, where i know no one. And no one knows me.
8. I go through stages where I hate my phone, and won't look at it for days at a time. Or even when it's near me, and I know I've got texts, I'll ignore them. Or read them, and never reply.
9. I go through similar stages with facebook, where I'll "deactivate" my account for days at a time. I'm in one of those stages now, which is why I'm resorting to many blog posts.
10. I'm super co-dependant. And go from guy, to guy, to guy. And I always move WAY to fast. And get attached WAY to easily. And I always end up getting hurt, but then just doing the same thing over and over again. I'm trying to work on that.
11. I have 2 phobias. 1. the garbage disposal. If something falls in, i will make someone else get it out. I refuse to put my hand in that death trap. 2. cheese graters. hopefully a psychotic killer doesn't stalk my blog...
Pictures.
Messing around with makeup, and camera effects.
let me know if you like any.
let me know if you like any.
1st one's my favorite.
Move list....
My movie list blog post is definitely the most "up kept". The only problem is, it doesn't matter how many movies I watch, I'm not making a dent. For every movie I watch, I add at least 2 more. Not to mention my recent obsession with Pawn Stars, tends to take up a lot of the time I have where I could actually be watching a movie. Not to mention I follow many other shows. My DVR is over flowing.
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