Day 05; A time you thought about ending your own life.

Wow, this is a super touchy subject. But luckily for me no one reads my blog. Hahaha. I think the only times I've really honestly some-what considered it was back when I was probably 13/14? Just those big puberty years when you're trying to find yourself. And every little thing feels like it's the end of the world. I did 'cut myself' a few times, and as cliche as this is going to sound... literally everyone was doing it. I knew so many people at school that were. And none of us had hard lives. Honestly it was all just attention. I remember getting into this huge fight with this guy I was desperately in love with at the time. (who by chance, was bi-polar) which made nothing any easier. And I honestly don't even remember what the fight was about. But I remember cutting my arm with a dull dull steak knife. Thinking that I should just drown myself because that would be something quick, and a way of dying I've always heard was really peaceful. But then I remember thinking about my family, and everyone who cared about me, and all the things I wanted to accomplish in my life. And continued to cut my arm until I saw blood, and stopped. And honestly I think I even took a picture and sent it to the guy. Like, It literally makes me sick to even talk about. All this stupid shit I did just for attention. And I don't think of 'cutting' lightly. I'm glad that I had the family and friends I did to never make me seriously consider doing anything to really hurt myself. I absolutely hate suicide. I hate that we live in a world so cruel that people even for a split second think there life isn't worth living. I wish I could save everyone.