In A Rut.

My life is stuck, never moving forward. I really honestly need to make a change. Acknowledging it isn't enough. I'll go through these times in my life where I get really depressed where i'm at in life and acknowledge I need to make a change, but then I keep giving myself excuses. I'm only 22, I had a child at 17, the economy is really bad right now, I need to spend money on luxuries while I have the chance. But in all honesty, my life isn't waiting. This is my life now. I've know spent the last 4 years of my life with absolutely no change. Still working at Old Navy, making only $3 more an hour then I did when I was 16. Still living at home. Haven't went back to school, well.. that's not entirely true. I did take a Pharmacy Technician course, but of course my procrastination killed that when I took my test a year later and failed by 2 questions. I'd prefer not to get into that. A huge waste of time and money, but I have no one to blame but myself. I've had a recent talk with my aunt, and it's really opened up my eyes. I get depressed i'm not married or making more money, or out on my own. But all of the choices I've been making have been setting me up for failure. I can't keep sitting around waiting for some gorgeous man to sweep me off my feet and ask me to come move into his house and be his wife. It's not realistic. I have such high expectations, that a man who fills them isn't ever going to want me. I've said this before, YEARS AGO in fact. That I wouldn't want me, so how would I expect my perfect man to? But as the beginning of this rant states, ACKNOWLEDGING IT ISN'T ENOUGH. I need to move forward in my life. I think the first step of that is school. I want to talk to someone about getting enrolled in school and getting my bachelors in business. I'd also like to take some generals as well. I do miss school a lot. And I am smart, and enjoyed learning just for the sake of learning. When I actually made an attempt at school. I need to stop spending so much money when I have nothing to show for it. When I do have bills i'll run myself into debt the first month. I spend so much money on nothing. I literally could have paid for a house at this point for the amount of money I've spent on clothes & eating out. So, i'm really going to try and improve myself. And get the fuck out of this rut.