Wasting time.

I find myself being very interested and attracted to my ex fiance. Who I was engaged to when my daughter was mere days old. And I called it off when she was mere months old. Because my intentions were faulty. I didn't love him. Very much like. But definitely not love. I purely wanted a father for my child. Whoever that may be. Luckily I realized before making a huge mistake. But now, over four years later... We have reconnected. And I can't help but having these feelings. Is it because of our past? Am I curious? Or could I have been wrong the whole time? I can't be having these feelings now. He has two kids now. My daughter has lived 4 years without a father. Can I really consider being with him again? I could have got things right all in the beginning. But I was trying to save me and my daughter from a world of hurt in the future. But was I wrong? I hate that I could have made the wrong choice. That my life could still end up where it was headed four years ago. But this time three times more complicated. Maybe i'm just over thinking. We're just talking. I haven't even seen him. But what if I see him and that makes everything more intense? I hate being a girl. I hate over thinking. I hate that I created this blog purely because my mind wouldn't stop racing and I needed to stop and write it out just to make sense of my thoughts. I'm not sure I feel any better.